A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Life is an elephant, get married.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops