So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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porn-hub

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Spread the net.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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