A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Butt Sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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