is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

Why did I get raped

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

can i have a cookie no diabeto!

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

Soccer...

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

she wasn't 18

How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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