- Anti Joke

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

Turn around.

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!