Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -7

25

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's worst than being gay? being black

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Netflix and chill

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when debbie meets downer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops