How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock --Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

4-4-2

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops