a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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