Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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Like if you like big tits.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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Snausages.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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bob saget

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12

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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