How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Pickles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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Women Driving.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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Yeah right loser!

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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What are we then hypocrites?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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