Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Why did the kid tell yo mama jokes to insult other kids? His mom had just committed suicide due to depression caused by the kid's bad habits.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops