What's funnier than 24? 25

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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Niki Minaj's ass

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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