What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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