What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops