How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Your mom.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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wanna here a joke??? read below...

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops