How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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