So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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