- Anti Joke

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

What is the best part about football The scoring

Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

i like turtals and kids

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

A walrus walks into a bar

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

What is the best part about football The scoring

Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

i like turtals and kids

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

Anti Joke

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MOAR??