Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Lil Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -13

det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops