Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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1+1 =? Too

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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