There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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obama

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did I get raped

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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rose are red violets should be purple

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops