Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Obama

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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matty russel are you on here

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops