"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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Woman.

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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Republicans

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Spell: “This word”

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops