Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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You're*

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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