A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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3.14159365358979323846264

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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