Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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A seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Gianni

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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