A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops