there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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I was born.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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