Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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Men's Sports

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Women's sports.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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<=-):[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]:(-=>

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Justin Bieber got laid

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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