When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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Penis

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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