Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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Jason Connor.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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bitches be crafty.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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