If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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religion.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Vagina ass.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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