Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

That's not what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Kenny died. The Bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops