What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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.....Carrot Top....

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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redtube

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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