Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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woman's rights

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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.....Carrot Top....

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What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops