How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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q

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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