Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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girls basketball

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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matty russel are you on here

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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