Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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