hi

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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The 80's

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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JFK

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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