Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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