what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

thumb_up thumb_down +23

girls lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops