Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

oh hiya come in

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops