Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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69

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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a black guy walks into a fast food place.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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