A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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You smell like shit

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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