-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...