knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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oh hiya come in

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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Matty B

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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