Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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bum sex lol

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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