Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops