A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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