Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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men, men like men= men+bed

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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