"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +46

want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops