What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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PENIS

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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Spotto

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops